"I must break you..."

     Someone is mighty damn lucky. My friend may not agree with violence, but I am tired of seeing her getting hurt. However, as I do not have the right information, I can't even contemplate what I'd like to do, so I will channel my pissed-off-ed-ness into my music.

     

     So, assuming we can get the guys and learn the music, the school will pay for us to go to Asheville for the regional collegiate barbershop competition. We win that (which Michael says we should, handily) then they'll pay for us to go to Florida for the International...yeah, buddy!

     Gotta make this one short, hafta go earn my keep in the choir loft at church tomorrow morning!

     My love to y'all, as always...

Even now? What will it take?

Methodist University Spring Tour 2016

Our third(?) performance of our 2016 Tour to Philadelphia...

Rub some dirt on it/"You're So Vain"

     So, for those of you who read my rant on Facebook, I'm pretty sure you are all smart enough to figure out what happened, or, at least, deduce what I may be talking about.

     For the newcomers, or those I am not friends with on Facebook for varying reasons (or if you're not as smart as I give you credit for), the long and the short: I made a real connection with someone who wasn't self-centered or thought they were too good, yadda, yadda, yadda...or so it seemed. Went out a few times, and a grand time was had by all. Then came the clues, which I couldn't completely ignore (I'm not COMPLETELY changed inside yet...), that pointed to something not being right. First was the sporadic communication. Then the cessation of communication. After a few days, I just wanted to know WTF was up: was she still alive? Did she decide to bail and not inform me? So, I send a text. The 2 replies: "Hey, I lost my phone and just got a new one.", "Refresh my memory, who is this?" Both within a few minutes of my text.

     Real freaking nice, eh?

     Oh, it gets better.

     "I've lost my wallet and everything with it." "I haven't eaten since this morning because I lost my card." "Can you help me? I need XXX$. I'll give you my account information so you can send it to me." Yes, it was a three-digit number...

     I may be slow from time to time, but I'm not completely stupid.

     That was bad enough. Then I get a bombshell dropped on me tonight that really shook my foundation. I nearly lost it, and the messenger was hard-pressed to keep it together; then while in the cafeteria, I did lose it. Luckily I was able to keep the sobbing to a minimum as I collected myself, finished my salad, and went back to the practice room, so no one was the wiser. I'm going to feel the sting of this news for quite some time. I understand the why of it all, and I agree with it, it was just completely and utterly unexpected.

     



     But, you know what? I've worked my ass off these last 3 months physically; something fundamental snapped in my consciousness while on vacation, causing a major shift; and a vision of what is possible has been burned into my mind's eye. The man you think you know, the one who would have let this cause him to retreat back into himself? Yeah, he's as dead as last year's daisies. A few of you found out last night that you don't really know me anymore. I find it amusing to see the looks on the faces of my acquaintences (pfft! Friends? Ha!) when they realize I'm not that background-dwelling wallflower anymore. Hell, it was to my advantage last night at the restaurant, being the person I am now: the manager came out and introduced himself to us, and to me especially, because he and his employees were having a good time watching me dance on their patio. So much, in fact, I paid even less for my drinks than the day's special!

     And apparently I'm more approachable now than last semester, as I have had numerous encounters and even full-blown conversations with students outside of my major. I've been asked to entertain the friends of the kids that were in my NSO group with my rendition of "Overweight People" and I willingly have obliged (pretty soon it won't make any sense for me to sing it: sure you can figure out why).

     Two and a half more weeks before I attempt to kill myself by proving I'm in better shape than I actually am. WHEN I cross that finish-line and vindicate myself to myself, it's game over for the past. Don't be on the wrong side when all is said and done, because I will have no problem leaving anyone behind.

     Plenty of solo work to audition/rehearse for this season, both in school and at COS. The Ralph Vaughan Williams piece MIGHT be just a formality, for myself and a few others who did it 6 years ago, with the only difference being me wanting to do the final bass solo rather than the first baritone solo as I did back then. We shall see. The Regina Coeli is starting to come back to me, so, with a little coaching from Dr. Susan, I should be ready for that audition next month. And the Chamber Singers piece we're doing, She's Like the Swallow, will be a slight challenge, but one I'm more than able to conquer.

     Alright, me loverlies, it's time to ATTEMPT to lay my ass down and go to sleep. I have stuff I need to get done prior to my 0900 class, which will be difficult, as the program I need to install is only written for Windows, so I will need to spend time setting up a work-around.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night.

I hate to go and leave this pretty sight...

You are not the center of the universe...

I'll show you mine if you show me yours...

     Below is an almost complete listing of every large and/or major work I have done in my life. How many of these have you done? What have you done that I have not?

Bach, J.S. Bleib bei uns Gottes Zeit ist die allerbeste Zeit* Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme^ Bach, P.D.Q. The Seasonings (S. 1 ½ tsp.) Beethoven Mass in C Major Symphony No. 9 in D Minor Bernstein Chichester Psalms Brahms Naenie Ein Deutsches Requiem (10)* Liebeslieder Walzer^ Psalm 13 Rhapsodie Schicksalslied (2) Britten Rejoice in the Lamb Charpentier Midnight Mass for Christmas (2)* Duruflé Requiem (2)* Dvorak Stabat Mater^ Edwards 1776 (Benjamin Franklin, PA; George Reed, DE) Fauré Cantique de Jean Racine Requiem (5)* Handel Christmas Oratorio Coronation Anthems Israel in Egypt Messiah (countless) Ode for St. Cecilia’s Day Haydn Utrecht Te Deum Missa in Angustiis, Hob. XXII:II (Lord Nelson Mass) Honegger Te Deum for the Empress Marie Therese King David Kodaly Budvari Te Deum Lauridsen Lux Aeterna McCullough Holocaust Cantata Mendelssohn St. Paul, Part I: The Conversion Menotti Amahl and the Night Visitors (King Kaspar) Mozart Coronation Mass (2)* Great Mass in C Minor Regina Coeli* Requiem^ Vesperae Sollenes de Confessore* Orff Carmina Burana Poulenc Gloria (2) Puccini Messa di Gloria Rutter Gloria Magnificat Mass of the Children (2)* Requiem (2) When Icicles Hang SaintSaens Christmas Oratorio Schubert Mass in A-flat Minor The Magnificat The Omnipotence Stravinsky Symphony of Psalms (2) Thompson Testament of Freedom Verdi Requiem Mass Williams Serenade to Music* (#) number of times performed * soloed in work ^ understudied solo in work

---------------------------------------------------

As the list kept getting longer and longer I began to feel older and older, lol! I remember when I first joined COS in the fall of 1996, when I was just 25 and the youngest person in the group...

God go with thee for eternity...

     Once I get the laundry into the dryer, it's lights out for me. In order to make it to the gym to have enough time to get my work in, shower, and get on campus and down to Riddle by 0700...not that I get to chill there for long, as Katelyn and I have to walk up to the stop sign by the automatic gate by the Kangaroo and the Lady Greek houses.

     This is going to be great!

     #WeAreMU #MUIsHome #NSO2016

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

     Dare I actually hope this is real? The message I received in my inbox seemed legit, but I know you have to be a subscriber to send messages in the first place, so why do the old "phone number in a weird format" routine like you are on a free account and/or are making use of a free communication period? But, caution be damned, I texted the number. After a few exchanges, I went to visit the profile, only to find it was hidden sometime between the first text and about the 10th...hmmm, the conspiracy theorist in me pokes his head up...

     The conversation meandered around, giving me an uneasy feeling, as if I were talking to a program. When she said that she hoped to chat later since she had to go 'attend to things', I figure "yeah, this is done..."

     To my surprise, she contacts me a few hours later and we chat some more. Now, the conversation is more human-ish (?) and flows, and we start to talk about ourselves. We then exchange photos, and, well, damn, you can tell it's the same person as in her profile pic. She then asks if I would like to be in a serious relationship with her. *SCREEEEEEEEEEECH!*

     We just "met" this morning! Lord! Then she casually mentions that she won't be back in the States for 2 more weeks, as she is in West Africa, helping the homeless and war-torn victims, but hopes to meet by then...this is getting weird almost.

     "How many ladies are you in contact with on Match?"

     "Do you plan on staying on Match since you have my contact info?"

     "Are you wanting to meet more ladies?"

     Meh. What will be will be. Let us see what the morrow brings...

*sigh*

Ladies and gentlemen...A. J.

     My music channel, My Musical Journey, 1973 - ???, is now live with my first recording (Well, the first one I've converted and uploaded...) and can be found here. As mentioned in the notes, the recording isn't that great, I was tired as heck, but I'd promised something soon, so I gave it what I had in the tank (bottom of the barrel, apparently). Lesson learned: if you're going to record, don't rehearse for two hours prior...

     My final shift as a delivery driver is tomorrow after church. Looking forward to putting that phase of my life behind me. I mean, it was a job I enjoyed, and was pretty damn good at (my current company is VERY upset that I'm leaving...they've been mentioning it after every shift), but it's not something I ever disillusioned myself as being enough to live on. I just never had the drive to do something about it, and the first time I did, everything fell apart before I even finished the admissions process. If things had gone right, I'd have graduated the semester before I actually DID start.

     Speaking of: nine more days before the semester starts! Then I'll be so busy with my studies and singing I won't have time to think of the severe disappointments and let-downs of the summer, and maybe, finally, can put them out of mind, or at the very least have them so muted they won't be there in conscious thought.

     Well, if I'm going avoid missing church two weeks in a row, I've got to hit the racks.

     Here's hoping for a good number of deliveries with a lot of big tips!

Am I even an afterthought to you?

     

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, fiddle-dee-dee

     Not exactly how I envisioned my first date in nearly 6 years...

     She was certainly pretty enough and intelligent and all, I just didn't feel anything. Like almost zero chemistry, other than a sense of humor. I wasn't appreciative of the fact that she called me an ass and stormed out after I tried to let her down easy. But, Lord, she reeked of desperation. Really tried way too hard. *sigh* c'est la guerre...

     I think I might be able to go to the gym tomorrow and get back on legs. Haven't had any pain in that calf for a few days, so I think it's healed. Hope so, haven't been able to do legs since I was still up north...

     Four weeks before the race...I'm nervous (haven't done a race of any type in nearly 25 years) but stoked at the same time. As of right now, our team has...checking...138 people! This is going to be memorable, if nothing else. Then the Chew 'n Brew event afterwards...man!

     Well, let's try and get some sleep, shall we?









Could it be? Eh, probably not.

I apologize to those who have already read the first few paragraphs on my Facebook page. They are here for those who don't follow me on the Book of Face...

     I love Methodist University! This was a FANTASTIC day!

     Yes, it was an early start time for us, but those of us NSO leaders who volunteered for today were ready to go as soon as we hit Berns. All operations ran smoothly throughout the day. There was much laughing and singing (okay, I did the majority of the singing, I didn't care who was around or listening; and people WERE listening 😁) and dancing (okay, I did most of the dancing, too, lol).

     It took me responding to Dr. Hancock's leading of the cheer to get the audience going during the orientation for football players, and I actually kinda hurt myself responding, lol. Throughout the day there was a continuous stream of compliments and exclamations directed at me, and I once again felt home (‪#‎MUIsHome‬). Between the assistant AD complimenting my voice to Ashley having a fit at how much I've changed in 3 months to Dean Harris expressing how much he enjoys my school spirit, I am honestly still grinning like an idiot.

     I'm actually upset that it'll be another 5 days before I'm back on campus for NSO training and stuff...

‪#‎WeAreMU‬

     So, as some of you may or may not know, the Robin Williams/Dustin Hoffman/Julia Roberts film "Hook" is my second favorite movie of all time. When it made it to the State Theater in downtown Monterey in the spring of '92, not only did I see it seven times in five days, I managed to convince several of my flightmates and classmates to join me on occasion, after which THEY watched it a few more times themselves.

     In honor of its 25th anniversary, I am planning an outdoor viewing of the movie on Sunday, December 11th, the 11th being the release date back in 1991. I am also going to christen my YouTube page with a rendition of "When You're All Alone" from the film's soundtrack.

     C'mon, August 22nd!

Even still, my heart yearns for you...

We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild...

     I very seriously do not want to go home. Not yet. I’m still finding and re-centering myself, and honestly, I’ve not felt this at ease in a long time. Possibly later today I’ll go get myself lost in the Nature Center of Brunswick, off 303, if I can replace a few provisions in my pack. Still ticked that I’ll have to order it online if I want to replace my tent since it was destroyed.

     Hopefully I will get a positive response to the e-mail I sent concerning picking up the transmission rather than having it shipped (thus saving me $130+ in shipping costs; the business is in Charlotte), in which case I will load up the Lincoln (and head to DC…wait, isn’t that from Rappin’ Duke?…hrm) and go pick up the tranny, get back, and make numbnuts install it, all before NSO training on Monday evening (15th).

     I’ll be finalizing my entry for the Spartan Sprint coming in September later today. I’m not ready yet, but I’m still excited to do it. Plus the BBQ fundraiser out in Raeford afterwards (Chew ’n Brew)…gonna be a helluva good time! Our goal is 300 team members (get it?). Even if we have a mere third of that, that guarantees no man left behind. DAMN, but I get more and more pumped each time I think about this!

     And I did get a good response from the shop in Charlotte. All I have to do is give them a call (after the settlement hits, assuming my bank doesn't drag their ass on clearing it, since it's supposed to be in NLT 1500 (about an hour from now). It'd be nice if it was on time so I can pick up some things while I'm still up here (replacement supplies for my pack, etc.).

     Hmmm, our NSO Captain is calling for help for next Wednesday (day after my last day of work, where I was going to have James work on my transmission). Ah, the hell with it, he can work on it Thursday.

     Acquired a copy of Schubert's Die Winterreise, transposed down a whole step, to start looking at. I already have the final song in my head ('Der Leiermann'). Haunting. Dr. Susan suggested doing a mini-cycle from the work, starting with the first song, 'Gute Nacht', then something from the middle, and ending with 'Der Leiermann'. Mission accepted. Also, and it's going to take WORK, I plan on performing the Cavatina di Figaro from Il Barbiere di Siviglia in my "Senior" recital in the spring of 2019.

     One downside on my car...haven't found any USB connections for the stereo. I'll have to go back to making CDs, as there's a 6-disc changer in the glove compartment (if you can call it that, as the changer takes up almost all of the space). Yeah, yeah, First World Problems. Shut up.

     Well, let's go at least check out the Nature Center (it's right across the street from here, the library). Later, kids.